I met Natasha Malenko while I was working as a photographer. We met in a place where I rarely set foot — the subway. It was not out of some romantic notion that I made her acquaintance, but because she looked like she would make an ideal photo model. Not in the sense that she was beautiful (which she was), but she had what I could only describe as a photogenic face. It turned out that she was a ballerina, and I cannot describe how this physical exercise helped us in our work.

Many are of the opinion that beautiful women, especially blondes, are stupid. I do not believe that this is true, since Natasha was an extremely intelligent, creative girl with rich fantasies. Surprisingly, in her this all was combined with a high capacity for work, responsibility, and what is even more fantastic: a good, gentle, and friendly personality. I cannot ever remember quarreling with her for any reason. We would argue (by the way, this is also proof of her intellect, since you cannot find anything to argue about with an empty headed person), but we never fell into conflict over anything.

Natasha had big plans… I was skeptical about a few of them, but I must admit that Natasha zealously strived to achieve the goals she set. We planned a big project once: we wanted to have her presented to David Hamilton, and she was going to sing for him (she was even capable of this)… but, you all know what interfered with these plans.

For a long time I could not believe that Natasha was dead. I know that this sounds banal, but that was what it really seemed to me. Each time I thought about who I would call up for a photo shoot, I remembered Natasha, and only after a few seconds would it occur to me that she was no more. I was always trying to call her up. At times the thought would flash though my head, «something's wrong, Natasha hasn't called in awhile,» and bewilderment at such evil injustice would soon follow.

I could not phone her mother, even though I understood that she really needed some help in what she was going through. I just could not accept Natasha's death…

Now time has passed, but I still think about Natasha a lot. With nostalgia and thankfulness for that remarkable time that we were able to work together.

Written by Alexander Lebedev.

Natoulya! My closest and dearest little person!

When you were still alive, I only lived for you, for your joy, your successes, and your sorrows. And I still live for you, or perhaps it would be better to say, that I live for my memories of you, because without my life has lost all meaning.

For me you are still the beautiful little girl with the doll-like figure, never becoming wiser and more talented through the years, but always happy and buoyant, spiritual and sociable, hardy and diligent. You stand before me even now: sometimes singing, sometimes playing the guitar, and sometimes dancing in front of the mirror.

Natasha loved ballet and loved the stage, and she could not imagine life without them. From age five to twelve she studied choreography under T. I. Vasileva, the renowned Polish artist, and later she attended the Duncan school, studying vocals.

Natasha’s interests were many: she took karate (and earned a yellow belt), and completed a three-year course in English. After finishing middle school she entered the teachers college, choosing as her specialty “corrective teaching and special psychology”. She planned to receive a secondary degree in economics.

Natasha always told me about herself, and about her friends. We often laughed ourselves to tears over her stories. They were so lively, happy, and she made such faces while telling them. Now tears flow from my eyes in rivers. When she was alive, I, perhaps, laughed for the last time.

The neighbors called her “princess”, and the teachers called her “the bright girl”. During the last year of her life, Natashenka completed her senior year and worked in the music groups “Russkie” and “J Jay Power”. She gave concerts on the best stages in Moscow, including at the Kremlin. Natasha had a calling for show business. In her short time on earth she was in three music videos and sang songs on the “J Jay Power” album. She was also on the XXXL second dance album, and was pictured on the cover. This was all before that tragic day at “Nord-Ost”.

Natasha loved life. She was in a rush to live. She wanted to do so much. In an interview with journalists, one asked what was the greatest desire of each member of the group. Natasha answered: “I want to live a long time, and be forever young!” Her life, however, ended tragically and unexpectedly. She was able to realize only a tenth of her grandiose plans.

One day Natasha said to Dima, her young boyfriend: “If I die young, have them bury me in a wedding dress, like God’s bride.” My husband and I carried out her wish.

After Natasha was no more, over the years friends and acquaintances of hers would still call. They had been as shocked as we were, and also worried about what happened.

Natoulya! I miss you so much. My strongest desire is to hug and kiss you, and never, ever let you out of my arms. You will always be my best and dearest daughter and friend! To you the Heavenly Kingdom, my most tender and gentle, most bright and beautiful, my only daughter!



Written by your ‘mamoulka’ (as you used to call me), Valentina Nikolaevna Malenko.

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