I met Natasha Malenko while I was working as a photographer. We met in a place where I rarely set foot — the subway. It was not out of some romantic notion that I made her acquaintance, but because she looked like she would make an ideal photo model. Not in the sense that she was beautiful (which she was), but she had what I could only describe as a photogenic face. It turned out that she was a ballerina, and I cannot describe how this physical exercise helped us in our work.

Many are of the opinion that beautiful women, especially blondes, are stupid. I do not believe that this is true, since Natasha was an extremely intelligent, creative girl with rich fantasies. Surprisingly, in her this all was combined with a high capacity for work, responsibility, and what is even more fantastic: a good, gentle, and friendly personality. I cannot ever remember quarreling with her for any reason. We would argue (by the way, this is also proof of her intellect, since you cannot find anything to argue about with an empty headed person), but we never fell into conflict over anything.

Natasha had big plans… I was skeptical about a few of them, but I must admit that Natasha zealously strived to achieve the goals she set. We planned a big project once: we wanted to have her presented to David Hamilton, and she was going to sing for him (she was even capable of this)… but, you all know what interfered with these plans.

For a long time I could not believe that Natasha was dead. I know that this sounds banal, but that was what it really seemed to me. Each time I thought about who I would call up for a photo shoot, I remembered Natasha, and only after a few seconds would it occur to me that she was no more. I was always trying to call her up. At times the thought would flash though my head, «something's wrong, Natasha hasn't called in awhile,» and bewilderment at such evil injustice would soon follow.

I could not phone her mother, even though I understood that she really needed some help in what she was going through. I just could not accept Natasha's death…

Now time has passed, but I still think about Natasha a lot. With nostalgia and thankfulness for that remarkable time that we were able to work together.

Written by Alexander Lebedev.

Natoulya! My closest and dearest little person!

When you were still alive, I only lived for you, for your joy, your successes, and your sorrows. And I still live for you, or perhaps it would be better to say, that I live for my memories of you, because without my life has lost all meaning.

For me you are still the beautiful little girl with the doll-like figure, never becoming wiser and more talented through the years, but always happy and buoyant, spiritual and sociable, hardy and diligent. You stand before me even now: sometimes singing, sometimes playing the guitar, and sometimes dancing in front of the mirror.

Natasha loved ballet and loved the stage, and she could not imagine life without them. From age five to twelve she studied choreography under T. I. Vasileva, the renowned Polish artist, and later she attended the Duncan school, studying vocals.

Natasha’s interests were many: she took karate (and earned a yellow belt), and completed a three-year course in English. After finishing middle school she entered the teachers college, choosing as her specialty “corrective teaching and special psychology”. She planned to receive a secondary degree in economics.

Natasha always told me about herself, and about her friends. We often laughed ourselves to tears over her stories. They were so lively, happy, and she made such faces while telling them. Now tears flow from my eyes in rivers. When she was alive, I, perhaps, laughed for the last time.

The neighbors called her “princess”, and the teachers called her “the bright girl”. During the last year of her life, Natashenka completed her senior year and worked in the music groups “Russkie” and “J Jay Power”. She gave concerts on the best stages in Moscow, including at the Kremlin. Natasha had a calling for show business. In her short time on earth she was in three music videos and sang songs on the “J Jay Power” album. She was also on the XXXL second dance album, and was pictured on the cover. This was all before that tragic day at “Nord-Ost”.

Natasha loved life. She was in a rush to live. She wanted to do so much. In an interview with journalists, one asked what was the greatest desire of each member of the group. Natasha answered: “I want to live a long time, and be forever young!” Her life, however, ended tragically and unexpectedly. She was able to realize only a tenth of her grandiose plans.

One day Natasha said to Dima, her young boyfriend: “If I die young, have them bury me in a wedding dress, like God’s bride.” My husband and I carried out her wish.

After Natasha was no more, over the years friends and acquaintances of hers would still call. They had been as shocked as we were, and also worried about what happened.

Natoulya! I miss you so much. My strongest desire is to hug and kiss you, and never, ever let you out of my arms. You will always be my best and dearest daughter and friend! To you the Heavenly Kingdom, my most tender and gentle, most bright and beautiful, my only daughter!



Written by your ‘mamoulka’ (as you used to call me), Valentina Nikolaevna Malenko.

Comments (16)

1. Контрольный поцелуй в висок. Норд-Ост Written by Александра , on 03-04-2011 13:44 26-е октября 2002 года впечаталось в память навсегда. Точнее, все эти дни с 23 по 26. В универе у нас была большая группа, нас объединили и получилось 50 человек. 2002 год, мы студенты 4-го курса, у каждого уже своя жизнь, заботы, у кого-то дети. С нами училась очень яркая, весёлая и открытая девушка — Наталья Маленко. Когда мы поступали — сидели на экзамене вместе, подружились. Её очень интересовала жизнь, в таком понятии как ЖИЗНЬ. К 4-му курсу она уже начала работать, что совсем не мешало её успешной учёбе. Я помню, как она пришла счастливая 23-го и сказала, что:"Вот, наконец-то у меня получится сходить на Норд-ОСТ! Я так хотела!". Мы порадовались. Мы не верили в то, что произошло ни в этот день, ни на следующий. Тогда думали, вот придёт Наташка, расскажет что там было… Наташка не пришла. Она погибла после штурма. Неделю провела в реанимации, пришла в себя на пару часов, успела улыбнуться маме и ушла… Врачи говорили тогда что-то о том, что она аллергик… А дальше — её пожилым родителям не на что было хоронить свою единственную, любимую дочь. Родственникам погибших начали выплачивать деньги спустя недели после всего… Тогда мы все вместе собрали необходимую сумму и похоронили её. Это, пожалуй, единственный раз, когда мы собрались все вместе вне стен универа. Помню, как на кладбище жались друг к другу как овцы… в каком-то шоке. В глазах у всех было написано большими буквами « ЭТОГО НЕ МОГЛО С НЕЙ СЛУЧИТЬСЯ». Помню, как за несколько дней до нашей последней встречи она меня расспрашивала о ребёнке. О том, как у меня получается совмещать учёбу с воспитанием дочери. Вообще о многом тогда говорили. А она в конце разговора так тихо сказала:" Знаешь, а мне кажется, что я никогда не выйду замуж и у меня никогда не будет детей"… Врезалось в память. Ей было всего 20 лет. Удивительной яркости был человек. Такие люди живут с девизом «Спешите жить»… До сих пор мне кажется, что просто мы закончили учёбу и разбежались каждый по своим делам, и что она живёт где-то на юге Москвы, так же ярко… просто у всех дела. Помню. Думаю, она присматривает там за нами, с какой-нибудь звезды. И обязательно улыбается, да.. October 26th, 2002, is forever imprinted in my memory. More precisely, all those days, from the 23rd to the 26th. We were a big group at the university; we were a combined group of 50. In 2002, we were 4th-year students, each with their own life, concerns, and some even had children. A very vibrant, cheerful, and sincere girl was in our group — Natalya Malenko. We became friends when we sat for an exam together. She was very interested in life, but all the more so in the concept of LIFE. By our 4th year she had already started to work, though it never interfered with her successful studies. I remember how happy she was when she came in on the 23rd, and said: “Look, I finally get to go to ‘Nord-Ost’! I’ve wanted to see this so much!” We were happy for her. We could not believe what happened later that day, or on the next. Back then we thought: “Natasha is going to come back and tell us what happened there.” Natasha never came back. She died following the assault. She spent a week in intensive care, came to her senses for a few hours, managed a smile for her mother, and left… The doctors said there was something about her allergies… Her elderly parents had no money to bury their only child, their beloved daughter. They did not start paying any money to the relatives of those who were killed until more than a week after everything. Back then we all got together and collected the necessary amount, and they buried her. This is, perhaps, the only time we ever got together for something outside the university. I remember at the cemetery how we all huddled together like sheep… in a sort of shock. In everyone’s eyes was written in large letters: “THIS COULDN'T HAPPEN TO HER.” I remember a few days before our last meeting, she asked me about my baby, about how I was able to combine my studies with raising a daughter. In general, we talked about a lot back then. At the end of the conversation, however, she said, so very quietly: “You know, it seems to me that I’ll never get married and I’ll never have children.” This is etched in my memory. She was only 20 years old. This person had an amazing brilliance to her. People like her live according to the motto: “Do not miss life”. It still seems to me that we simply graduated and flew off, everyone according to their own business, and she is still alive somewhere, maybe to the south of Moscow, and ever so brilliant… it is merely that we are all so busy. I remember her. I think she is up there, looking at us, from some star, and she is surely smiling, yes… By Alexandra, a classmate. Report